Well, not really.
I have completed my seven-day intro, continuing my normal day to day routine of eating and lack of movement.
I have also completed my 30 days of trying to turn my life around, to include giving meditation a fair shot and some serious time, cutting back on eating every Little Debbie cake from here to California, walking, writing more, reading, and starting to help others less fortunate again.
It is helping.
Not to the point that I have met Gandhi on some spiritual plane, but I do feel better physically and mentally.
I also feel that if I continue down this road, I might someday find Zen, true peace in my life.
I am typing this out after finishing off a bowl of tuna salad. Tuna, eggs, and mayo…not that hippie stuff that adds pickles or relish or anything else.
That is a stark contrast to over a month ago, where my dinner was a medium pizza, or a fill me up meal at Taco Bell, or a bag of chips.
I have to admit; I do miss the Papa Johns meat lovers. With pepperoncini peppers. And that garlic sauce made from cupids sweat and pure love extracted from Mother Theresa’s coffin. All while washing it down with a Guinness Extra Stout or Miller Light.
Or a full flavored ice cold Coca-Cola.
Is it worth it to go back to that garbage? Probably not.
The good thing is I think about it much less than I did when I first started this journey.
Maybe I will splurge in the near future and grab me a few slices, but I don’t drool while thinking about it anymore.
What I don’t miss, and may keep me on my path, is feeling completely worthless and stressed all the time. Morning, noon, and night.
The haircut yesterday helped. Man, I love a haircut…
I watched a special on Rickey Williams the other day.
He was a Heisman Trophy winning running back out of The University of Texas, a first-round NFL draft pick, and an unbelievable athlete.
He fell out of love with football, and most would say he fell in love with marijuana and that’s the reason he missed out on so much money and a possible Hall of Fame induction.
What I watched showed he fell out of love with himself and what he had become and walked away from the fame and fortune to find inner peace.
I get it.
I really do get it.
Sometimes it takes giving up everything you know to find true peace.
That is just too hard for most Americans, most people. They would rather be miserable in a relationship that is clearly not right for them than to try and find happiness on their own.
They would rather be stuck in a dead-end job that makes them want to slit their throat than to find something that they truly enjoy.
Maybe it’s a job that people look up to.
Maybe it’s too good of a paycheck to lose.
Maybe it’s a job that they were pushed into and they don’t want to let someone down.
Either way, they continue to get up five days a week and force themselves to a place they hate, work for people they hate, and come home to drink those feelings away.
They remain miserable.
They keep hate locked up in their hearts.
Each and every day.
It eats them, consumes them like cancer.
I don’t want to end up like that.
I don’t want to hate anything anymore, especially my life.
I will be giving up news as well over the next few weeks.
We can’t get along, so I will focus on those around me that I can help.
I will pay attention to those that I love.
I will send texts of flowers to my girls so they know I am thinking of them.
I will tell those in my life that I care.
I will stay positive, and continue down this road of change.
A road with less fast food, with less arguing, with less tension, with less negativity, with less mainstream music, with less news focused on division, with less of the things I want in my life now.
Family, friends, love, plants, dogs, haircuts, pineapples…those are all good things.
Some great things.
Things that I need to find my Zen.
Things I am focusing on so that one day I will have complete peace in my heart, peace in my mind, and peace in my life.
God willing, I will wake up that day.
Until tomorrow, and the hope you find peace in your life as well.