Every once in a while a story comes across the AE Radio News desk that makes me stop, stare at the wall for a minute, and seriously consider deleting the internet forever.

This is one of those stories.

A 56 year old Houston attorney is now facing a felony bestiality charge after investigators say his own wife discovered surveillance footage allegedly showing him engaging in sexual acts with the family dog.

Yes.

The family dog.

At that point humanity has officially left the rails entirely.

According to reports, the wife had installed indoor cameras because of contractor work being done around the house. Instead of catching somebody stealing tools or eating leftovers out of the fridge, she reportedly uncovered footage that investigators say led to felony charges against her husband.

And honestly?

There are not enough showers in North America to mentally rinse this story off after reading it.

Authorities say the wife immediately removed the dog from the home and contacted authorities after reviewing the footage.

Good.

Because unlike the grown adult in this situation, the animal had no choice, no understanding, and no way to protect itself.

Court records reportedly contain graphic details that most news outlets aren’t even fully publishing, which honestly tells you everything you need to know about how disturbing investigators found this case.

And once again we arrive at the same uncomfortable realization:

Some people walk around looking completely normal in public while secretly operating on a level of depravity that sounds made up when you first hear it.

Successful attorney.

Professional career.

Upscale neighborhood.

Meanwhile investigators are allegedly watching footage involving abuse of a small family dog named Shipley.

Absolute nightmare fuel.

Authorities say the dog is now safe and no longer in the home.

As for Swain, reports indicate he had been charged but was not yet in custody at the time of publication.

And honestly, if there was ever a case where neighbors deserved the right to loudly yell “WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?” across a courtroom parking lot, this may be it.

More to follow.

This breaking news article was sponsored by Prongs.

Prongs is a two year old Weimaraner mix who weighs 53 pounds and possesses the chaotic, high voltage energy of a morning radio show host who just downed an entire pot of black coffee before dawn. He loves to be the absolute center of attention at all times, making him the canine equivalent of that guy at the party who hogs the karaoke microphone and refuses to hand it over. He recently crushed it at several local adoption events, working the crowd like a slick politician running for office on a platform that promises a free ribeye steak to every single household.

He is an absolute maniac for toys, outdoor running, and hanging out with both human and canine companions. If your idea of a good weekend involves dragging yourself up a steep hiking trail or going for long runs in the summer humidity, Prongs is the ultimate co-pilot who will gladly sprint miles ahead of you while your own lungs completely collapse. He is incredibly treat motivated and eager to learn, which makes training him a total blast. Who would not want a buddy who completely pays attention to your every word instead of zoning out on a smartphone screen?

Because he comes from working and hound lineages, he needs a strict daily routine and serious structure to keep his brain from short circuiting. You cannot just leave this dog alone in an empty room with his thoughts and expect your baseboards to remain intact. He requires serious mental stimulation like food puzzles, stuffed Kongs, and sniffing rugs to keep him occupied. He treats a kibble puzzle like a high stakes bomb disposal mission, working with intense focus until every last snack is recovered. If you are ready to trade your lazy routine for a high energy companion who will force you to get out into nature, stop by the Center for Animal Rescue and Enrichment of St. Louis to meet him, or hit up Chop’s Guide and we will see if we can help.