The main event at Crave Mediterranean was the lamb bowl.

It arrived with thick, superb chunks of meat seared to a dark, caramelized crust that looked like a culinary masterpiece. Finding lamb on a menu in the Ozarks is a rare victory since most local spots assume a balanced meal is just two different types of fried potatoes.

I mean, they are a balanced meal, but it is still hard to find lamb.

These pieces were tender enough to surrender at the sight of a fork, much like the French, and handled with a level of professional discipline that would make a drill sergeant weep. The seasoning was aggressive and unapologetic, hitting the palate with a savory depth that defined the protein rather than overpowering it. I could eat this every day and it would be a happy life.

This dish reminds me of Penn and Teller, The lamb was loud, loquacious and fabulous while the rice was the silent straight man of the plate. The rice was Teller, it made the dish soar and though the lamb was amazeballs, it only got to those heights and would have been diminished without Teller.

It was cooked properly and lacked those tooth shattering hard pieces that turn a pleasant lunch into a sudden, expensive dental emergency. It was fluffy, consistent, and seasoned well enough to stand on its own as a meal, but again, Penn made it better.

The bowl featured grilled zucchini and carrots that were flame-kissed and tender. The kitchen also included bell peppers though, I treat bell peppers like an unrequested life advice or a mandatory team building meetings. I shoved them into the far corner of the bowl so their flavor could not invade and contaminate the rest of the meal with their specific brand of overpowering unpleasantness.

Bell peppers are the culinary equivalent of that one relative who shows up uninvited to Thanksgiving and ruins the vibe by talking about their rash; they arrive, make everything gross, and it all eventually everything starts to taste like their baggage.

This bowl earned a 4.4 /5 for being a Titan.

Stay tuned for Part 4 where Chris deals with a Mixed Gyro that is an absolute unit of a sandwich.

Updates:

I am heading down to Mountainburg, Arkansas after work to meet up with my brother Shock Itch. He is part of the Chops Guide family and handles 95% of the heavy lifting for the Arklatex Events and AE Radio marketing group. We spend our time pumping local talent into the spotlight for the low price of zero dollars.

I am looking forward to seeing what kind of culinary disasters or hidden gems we find to tear apart in Arkansas. I am hoping I can drop some new shirts and schedule a mountain of work while I am down there so I can get from behind the eight ball that I constructed for myself.

I will also be headed to Poplar Bluff next Friday, the 22nd, to spend some time with my dad for the long weekend. My Poplar Bluff people need to stop holding out on me and give me suggestions on whatever new local spots have dropped lately. I also need to find out where my homies at Lucky Dragon will be. I am sure they will be closed since I am coming to town. I might even head down to Jonesboro to spend some time with my brother Sam if I can find a reason to cross the border. Keep the suggestions coming.

Books:

I had a small gap in my schedule so I started Book two of the Discount Dan series, Cul de Sac Carnage, while waiting for the new Dungeon Crawler Carl to drop. It is a solid LitRPG about a Marine in a bathrobe who noclipped into a nightmarish, outdated, mostly 80s and 90s version of the world. His sidekick is a talking blue plastic dog named Croc who has a New Zealander accent and an obsession with Twilight. It has some of the energy I look for in a book.

Once I woke up on May 12th, remembered who I am, where I was and more importantly that it was Book eight day, Discount Dan took a back seat and I immediately started on Dungeon Crawler Carl, A Parade of Horribles.

I am now buried in the world of DCC and will be until I finish it. That will likely be this weekend. It is fantastic so far with a balance of high octane humor and genuine heartbreaking tragedy. There are a few books in this series that did not pull me in as hard as the others, like Iron Tangle and Eye of the Bedlam Bride, though there were parts of both that were absolutely top tier. But even with not every book hitting for me, I think this series is going to go down as a masterpiece unless Matt decides to go full Game of Thrones and ruin the ending for everyone.

I will head back to finish Dan and Croc once Carl and Princess Donut are done with the 10th floor.

All shirts at Unstable Apiary Designs are on sale until Bee Conference Season in June. Go grab some fresh gear while the prices are low and the designs are still in stock.