I remember a month ago I was typing out however many days to death.

Or days to a heart attack, or stroke.

I do feel better.

I know I have said that over and over the last week’s worth of posts, but I do.

I am calmer. I am a little happier.

Maybe not even close to where I want to be, but much closer than before.

I ate sausage again this morning, washing it down with orange juice and water.

I am feeling I need to really back off of meat so much, so will have to figure out where to get most of my protein from.

Shakes will probably be the solution, I just want to research to see if there is a better source.

I know slowly becoming mostly a vegetarian would bring much shame to my family and friends, but it is something I have thought about for years.

I just don’t think I could ever become a vegan as cheese is possibly the most delicious substance on the planet, next to a triple layer chocolate cake of course…

I know working out is needed, and will start slowly as to not aggravate any of my old football injuries.

My past is riddled with spurts of working out heavily until I bother or reinjure an old wound, and take a short three-year break as I shed tears in my beer trying to get over not being able to work out or not wanting to work out because it has been so long…

I have walked on and off the past thirty days, just not as much as I want. I do want to start jogging and running again, but not as much as I was doing three years ago. Just enough to keep me in shape and limber.

I also will continue to find true spirituality.

It will be through constant learning.

Constant listening.

Constant observation of the universe, and the universe around me.

Meditation will play a role in that.

Eating remains relatively standard, with no snacking to date.

Rest cycles are getting better, but I still have to use sleeping pills far too often.

I want to cut them out of my life for good, yet that will take time.

If you want complete honesty, if I had known this would be so much work a month ago, I might not have started.

Changing diets is one thing.

Starting to walk is one thing.

Trying to change your entire life is something completely different.

Until tomorrow, and another day that I tell myself changing is the right thing to do…the needed thing to do.