This entire article is dedicated to my nephew who I have had to have these conversations with. In essence this article is talking to him without having to have another conversation.
Boat
Parenting: What You’re Doing Wrong. If You’re a Shit Parent.
If your pre-pubescent child is biting you/hitting you/kicking you and rather than punting that little bastard across the room, you call 911, you have failed as a parent and it will never get any better. That kid now knows you have absolutely no power. You should send that kid off to military school or something because that kid is going to grow up to be a piece of shit otherwise. Probably just like you.
Oh Floridia
At one point he said he may be able to get me on as a cook for the trips down to the Carribean that they make.It would be a good learning experience, if for anything else than the act of cooking while everything is trying to run away from me.
Chop's Guide to the Galaxy 