Barry Bagerneth – The Beginning (The Letter Heard Round the World)


To: Date: Tuesday, July 14, 2009, 1:37 PM

Good Day,I received encouraging information about you and how trust worthy you are. I am delighted with such useful information. I am the manager of Auditing and Accounting department of African Development Bank Group (A..D..B) Ouagadougou Burkina Faso… I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that i am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families. I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of (US$29.2M) million to your account within 10 or 14 banking days.

This Fund has been dormant for years in our Bank without claim. I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer (the owner of the account) died along with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since Dec 26th 2004. I don’t want the money to go into our Bank treasurer as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I contacted you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer.

Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top-secret and delete it if you are not interested.

Upon receipt of your reply I will give you full details on how the business will be executed and also, note that you will have 40% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to handle this business with me. If you are really sure of your integrity, trustworthy, and confidentiality, reply urgently and to prove that, include your particulars as follows.

Private telephone and fax numbers?……….

Country of Origin?……………………………

Your occupation?…………………………….

Your official age?……………………………..

Your passport or ID card number?…………..

Waiting to hear from you. Thanks Yours truly, MR MUSA OUMAR (A.D.B) CALL ME::+226 76 46 88 50 NB: The fund is free from drug and laundering related offense.”


“From: < > Subject: Re: HAVE A GREAT DAY

To: Date: Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 8:23 AM

Absolutely sir…I am thrilled that you have thought of me in this decision, and hope that in the future we become solid business partners. I would like to go into a few of the reasons I need this money, and hope you understand.

For the longest time I have been dreaming of opening a midget sumo wrestling dojo in West Texas. I wanted some way of being a superstar, and standing at 4’2″ and 380 pounds it was hard to do for the longest time. Now, with your financial help, I can accomplish my dream. I will also have enough money to employ a full-time woman to “meet my daily fill” by pleasuring me from behind. I can also afford for some carpenters to build me a platform to reach her backside and to have a mirror installed all over the wall so I can finally see my twig and berries. She will be able to live full-time in the basement, cook for me, and I can afford to finally feed her some scraps…beautiful.

My mom also hates me, so I may have enough left over to either find me a place of my own or dig a hole behind the Dojo and sleep in it, I haven’t quite figured that out yet. She nags the shit out of me all the time. Get off your fat ass…clean up your room…feed the cat…hell, I didn’t even know we had a cat. And if we did, I would try and figure out how that Chef Lee’s cooks that cat in Killeen, because it’s pretty damn tasty. Between eating pets and crapping in the crops irrigation ditches or “night soil,” those slant eyes are some pretty crafty folk. I wouldn’t even mind heading over there for a vacation, as most of them are pretty short and I wouldn’t feel so damn much like a loser. I could dress up as a baby Godzilla and see how well that went over.

Also, if you wouldn’t mind, could you Fed Ex me $20 and take it off my final payment? The toothless chic down the street is out of meth and I am at my wits end trying to reach my own junk. It would help out so many…

I hope to hear back from you very soon; as I am getting so excited I just crapped and pissed myself at the same time. Thank you for choosing me.


Barry Bagerneth”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s