There are all these great things coming back from back in the 80’s and 90’s and it is absolutely AWESOME!
With only one small problem…
YOU CAN’T FIND ANY FUCKING THING!
Take Ecto-Cooler for example.
For those of you new to the marketing thing, the 80’s made TONS of random shit based on anything that was somewhat popular and this included Ecto-Cooler.
Ecto-Cooler was of course in reference to Ectoplasm which came about through The Ghostbusters movies and later The Real Ghostbusters cartoon, both of which are awesome.
I also think The Ghostbusters was the very first movie I ever saw in theaters, a drive-in theater, no less!.
The thing that tied the drink in with the movie and cartoon besides the word “Ecto” was Slimer the Hangry Ghost.
Slimer was MUCH cooler in the Real Ghostbusters cartoon because he was a teammate for the guys and though fucked up far more than he helped, he was sweet and lovable.
Movie Slimer was just gross.
I do not see how Slimer kept his figure based on his voracious appetite but that may be further discussed in a later dead and staying trim diet post.
Every time I go somewhere that I would figure would carry Ecto-Cooler, the beloved drink from my childhood, they do not have it.
I look everywhere and I feel I am going to miss out on it as I do not think, based on the numbers from the new Ghostbusters movie, they will keep it around long.
About the movie, I don’t really care that they used women as the main characters and all that but they didn’t even really link them to the original characters.
Why the fuck would they not make the new cast the daughters of Venkman, Stantz, Spengler and Zeddemore?
Now, this whole cast thing being all about the modern feminist movement and how it was racist that the black chick was the blue collar person like in the first movie, I will not get into here other than using the feminist thing as a base for a movie is just stupid, especially the reboot of a great series… and not everything is racist you jackasses!
Now, I am sure you are saying, “but Chop… Why don’t you just buy it on amazon like you buy everything in your life… besides hookers”
Well, dicknose, the reason I don’t buy it on Amazon is not because they do not have it, but because the douchecanoes selling it on there have jacked the price way up and I would rather be cheap than bend over for a tasty beverage I barely remember the joy of.
Looking at Amazon, the cheapest I can find it is $17.82 + S&H for a 12 pack of 11.5oz cans.
This price is not horrible but the reason the rating is so low on it is because the price started at like half that and cockbags bought up all the stock and doubled the price.
Surge was like this at first also but the thing about Surge is that it is not based on the popularity of a movie franchise, so it probably will not be going anywhere, Ecto-Cooler may be different.
I need to start scouring the interwebs for the high fructose corn syrup delicacy.
With all this being said, Ecto-Cooler is just one of the many things I miss from back in the day:
French Toast Crunch: This stuff was great. I didn’t get it often but I always love it.
Shark Bites: This one was good… I don’t miss it too much because gummies are gummies but eating sharks is badass!
Keebler Magic Middles: Shortbread Cookies stuffed with Chocolate, why would they ever get rid of these?!
Lemon Coolers Girl Scout cookies: I have tried to quell my addiction to Girl Scout Cookies based on some of the lessons they are teaching girls these days but these things were great… they have the Lemon disc cookies which are good too but I would have to say, these were better.
I am also not doing well on the not buying a case of Girl Scout Cookies each time they are for sale.
Oatmeal Swirlers: I never drew any pictures or played tic-tac-toe on my oatmeal, I was too busy eating it but this sweetened the oatmeal up a little and gave it a different flavor profile. Always good things.
Coke Blak Coffee soda: I never had this, I really don’t even remember it but I would like to try it, it sounds interesting.
Hostess Chocodiles: It is fucking Chocolate Covered Twinkies! If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pies: I am a big fan of pudding filled anything and these kept me away from Chocolate Pudding pies for a little while, I love these things!
Mr. T Cereal / Batman Cereal: You know, some days you just wake up and think, I would love to absolutely rip my mouth apart for breakfast. That is where these cereals come in. They will destroy your mouth and you will finish in a little bit of pain but mostly satisfied. I do not really miss these because they taste like Captain Crunch and you have more options with the Captain, plus Pirate.(22 DAYS!)
Jello Pudding Pops: I love pudding, I love Ice Cream.
TicTac Cinnamon: … SERIOUSLY! How in the FUCK could a breath freshening place get rid of anything cinnamon?!
Lemon Ice Gatorade: I never had this, I want to try it… I love Lemonade and a pretty big fan of Gatorade. I have been drinking Strawberry Lemonade a lot lately.
Uncle Ben’s Rice Bowls: They had some awesome rice bowls… so much bullshit. the bagged rice is good too but I have never seen a cajun bagged rice.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal: It has marshmallows. It Wins.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Ice Cream Pops with bubble Gum eyes sold on Ice Cream Trucks… These still may exist, I haven’t seen an ice cream truck since I was a kid but I loved these things.
Frosted Mini Chex: I always liked chex, these kept me from having to add sugar.
What are some of the things from back in the day that you miss?
Funny thing, I went by Hy-Vee Supermarket a couple days ago, prior to finishing this article and they had 3 six packs of Ecto-Cooler on the shelf… HAD.
They are spectacular!
Fuck you, not sharing… but I will sell you one… $5.