SpongeBob SquarePants turns your children into malcontents!

I'm_with_StupidHowdy y’all,

I was meandering about the other day, raising the resale value of Walmart by me being in it and I noticed something.

WalMart was selling Krusty Krab Kandy.

I don’t know if there was a K for Candy, but I assume they kept the misspelling going throughout the whole package because, morons.

I despise SpongeBob SquarePants with a hatred something fierce.

This Candy reminded me of this hatred.

I showed up to work a dispatch after this trip to Wally World and what do I see?!

A brand spanking new SpongeBob SquarePants piggy bank sitting on the counter to collect money for the snacks available in dispatch.

That prompted either a stroke or this post.

I decided I’d try both.

There has been a study conducted that shows that this show may hinder the learning abilities of children.

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

The story has been somewhat debunked but the kids did answer everything slower after watching SpongeBob, of that, there is no doubt.

I personally think it stunts mental growth.

Let’s talk about my nephew.

I love that burly young man very much.

Now, I am not going to say that SpongeBob made him dumb because he absolutely is not.

He is becoming a superb welder and if you give that kid anything to fix, chances are he will do it.

But book learning and the nephew have always been at odds with each other.

I can’t say for certain that it was SpongeBob that caused this but the boy is 18 years old and still has “The Krusty Krab” as his place of employment.

I’m just saying.

Now, it could be chalked up to him being lazy because he is not dumb and he is certainly lazy, as am I, but I think some of the blame needs to be resting at the feet of this horrendous show.

I used to have a girlfriend, if you are being liberal with the word girlfriend, who had two kids.

Now, these kids ranged between awesome to holy fucking terrors but I liked them, they were decent kids though the daughter gave me grey hair.

She was more often the terror. The son was quiet and sensitive.

129149740966036448After I would pick them up from school and we would get home, the “girlfriend” and I would argue almost daily because I did not want them watching SpongeBob for two reasons.

  1. I have always believed even before the study that SpongeBob Squarepants holds no value and we need to try to have the kids learn as much as they possibly can during the years before they already know everything. (She had placed me in the role of father figure and I tried to be good at it.)
  2. I did not want to be responsible for a killing spree after being forced to sit through this show for any period of time due to it being utterly vacuous and annoying as fuck.

The “girlfriend” would argue that they had spent all day learning (which based on what I see these days learning is another term for they were being indoctrinated) and should be able to relax and have fun when they get home.

I would argue that Edutainment is still entertaining and we should strive to never have times when they weren’t learning new things.

Hell, as much as I hate Dora the Explorer because it goes along with the feeling that we are supposed to learn Spanish to accommodate others in the United States rather than the other way around, it was at least educational.

I am not against learning Spanish, I am not against learning anything, I am against being half forced to learn Spanish or at the least guilted into it to bend to the will of people coming to an English speaking nation.

We are the only nation that does this and it shows our lack of backbone, it is sad.

Personally, I think adults should do the same thing children should do, never stop learning.

I am bad about turning on, tuning in and zoning out but I am trying to make myself better, which is part of the reason why I am constantly trying to blast away on Chop’s Guide or reading new books or working on my books to try to keep my mind occupied.

I may write stupid shit on here but it is better than burning through a night on Netflix.

Please, modern parents, if you are going to go all Cable Guy and make your television the babysitter for your kids, please make it something they can learn from.

Do not let your kids watch SpongeBob SquarePants at all and limit the amount of stuff they watch that doesn’t have some semblance of educational material in it.

One of the things I actually lucked into as a kid was that I grew up most of my life with 3 channels.

ABC, PBS and CBS (I think) and only ABC and PBS came in clearly so I watched a TON of edutainment and due to that I grew up with a wonder about the world.

I also spent a lot of time watching British Comedies with my mom which I blame for making my heartache for places I have never been the whole world over.

wild-kingdomIf it wasn’t Sesame Street it was Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom or Nova, Bill Nye The Science Guy (although he has turned out to be half a moron lately, suggesting that people who don’t agree with him on global warming, oops, global cooling, oops, climate change should be jailed).

The moral of the story is LEARN SHIT!

And stop watching that stupid fucking dish cleaning utensil.

Now, I am off to “accidentally” break a piggy bank so I can stop seeing it.



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