I quickly hopped out of bed before being crushed and grabbed a quick shower and walked out to find Gary oddly trying to cuddle up to Chop in what looked like a scene from a cheap porn hub video We may not have actually learned anything to do with bail bonding, but hey, at least it wasn't fun either.
Education
UPDATED!: Online Dating: Things that Drive Me Insane about Girls on the Dating Circuit
As the lonely bastard that I am and have always been, with the occasional exception, I am very experienced in Online Dating sites. I am possibly more experienced than any other four people combined, not because I have any luck at them or anything... I have just been joining them out of boredom since the late 90's. You name it, I am probably a member. Well boredom and the hope that someone will tolerate me. With my street cred being established, I am going to talk about some things that girls do on their dating profiles that drive me fucking batshit insane. The main reason for this is because it is ok for girls to have absolute shit profiles but guys have to be Gods among men, be 100% on point and have some flawless, next level shit to get noticed, much less get any replies. I know this because I think I have a pretty decent profile on most of them and I get about as much attention as a white crayon.
Black Ball – Baseball is the Devil
The Eagle asks for the co-operation of the law-abiding people of Bryan in protecting the Sabbath day against the violence of Sunday baseball. Excerpt - Bryan Daily Eagle and Pilot April 14, 1913.
A Bizarre Food Plea to the Mexican Establishments in Poplar Bluff, Missouri
Now before I go any further in this, for those of you reading who are not from Poplar Bluff, we have an almost comical amount of Mexican restaurants... So here is my plea. Please, one of you, start a traditional/bizarre food movement.
The Pungeant Aroma of Failure.
No animals were harmed during this experiment, except for the cat I kicked after opening that Monster cap on day six. He is fine now, and it was an accident. Oh, and that thing that was moving in the Rockstar, that got thrown out in the ditch behind the house.
I Can Math
I don't consider myself as a very smart person. More times than not I never feel like the smartest person in the room. I'm not dumb by any means, but being super smart is something I don't really consider. Until yesterday. I walked into a local Valero gas station needing my daily dose of sugar-free … Continue reading I Can Math
Rube Goldberg and Pearl Harbor
Howdy Y'all, It is November, and I have recently been watching a TON of Rube Goldberg machine videos so I thought I would write an article about him on either the day of his birth or the day of his death, whichever came first. Shooting over to Wikipedia quickly showed that the nearest date was … Continue reading Rube Goldberg and Pearl Harbor
Mental_Floss Final Issue in Print
Since this is about the magazine, here are facts from this, the Final Issue. Did you know that since there wasn't a lot of edible fish to be found in Quebec, Canada, the Catholic Church classified beavers as fish so the Canadians would have something to eat during Lent?
Realistic Sex Robots and How They Impact You!
Howdy y'all, So I was scrolling along on Facebook and came across an article about talking sex robots that are coming up for sale next year. I am not sure why this showed up on my wall, I assume it is either based on some of the weird shit that I like or … Continue reading Realistic Sex Robots and How They Impact You!
Where are you even from?!
Howdy y'all, I have always been interested in my family history, possibly because I knew so little of it beyond my Great-Grandmother who died when I was five. I have dicked off on Ancestry.com several times over the years and had paid for and canceled the service more times that I remember when I would get … Continue reading Where are you even from?!
Chop's Guide to the Galaxy 