Howdy y’all,

This article will be an apology, and update and a rant.

I just found out recently that I am a rapist.

I have never raped anyone, the thought abhors me, but I hear I am a rapist nonetheless.

You see, I have spent the last 5 years not talking to a friend of mine over a woman.

I have done this while spending the last 4 years without said woman.

She was not a very good person, even less so than I thought.

It all started when my friend C.E. Manning moved in with me for a while from Louisiana. We were both single at the time and I had far fewer qualms about looking locally for a companion than I do now. Through C.E.’s search, he found this girl who seemed to be ok and she was cute. I was a little jealous but happy for him.

So, he went out with her a few times but he ended up having to go back to Louisiana, I do not remember the reason.

After he had been gone for a while she started talking to me as a friend, even to the point of trying to set me up with her sister but I was starting to like her, which was a bad thing.

You see, this girl was married.

She also told myself and C.E. about all the ways that her husband abused her and that was why her and C.E. and later her and I happened.

Eventually, she ended up liking me for whatever reason and through the abuse from her husband and my white knight syndrome she and her two kids ended up living with me but like most people nowadays, I was not able to treat her like the princess she thought she was and she had to help with the bills and whatnot.

I have mentioned this girl before in my SpongeBob article.

It was during this time of her living with me that learned about her malicious nature.

You see, while she was with me, she had kept in contact with C.E. and she told me all the horrible things C.E. had said about me.

Me, caring deeply about this girl did not really even question it. Why would she lie about something that shouldn’t matter to her, I thought.

C.E. had been my friend since we were together in Mosul, Iraq. He was the reason I moved to Qayarrah (Q-West), Iraq. We used to write a blog together called Dumb Information He was one of my favorite people, a person who always made me laugh.

Him saying these things hurt my soul.

Why would he try to cock-block from several states away?

One day this girl asked me to lie to C.E. about us being together in order for  her to get him to send her some money to buy something she was wanting.

I refused even though by that point I was just about done with her because of some other things she had done but I found this particularly despicable.

I may have absolutely hated C.E. at that time but I am still not a piece of shit who would do something such as this.

I still have some of the articles from Dumb Information and though I really had no want to talk to C.E., I did not want to delete them without his knowledge.

So I tried to contact him to no avail.

A few weeks later my brother Chris mentioned that he had talked to C.E. he had told Chris to tell me “hello, even though it will not matter to him (me)”. That night I tried to contact him again about the articles and I told him the reason I had not talked to him these 5 years.

He told me all of the things that the girl had been saying to him while we were together and he said the one thing that showed him without a doubt that she was lying her ass off is that she said once that I raped her.

That virulent cunt said that I raped her.

I still can not believe that.

He then told me that he knew she was lying because he asked her why she didn’t call the police and her answer was because I “had the police department in my back pocket”.

I don’t know anyone but politicians who could get away with rape even if the whole department was their best friends.

And anyone I know would find that accusation laughable, hell I had a moral dilemma paying for it, I would have killed myself if I did some shit like that.

Needless to say C.E. and I have been talking again, quite a lot lately and he is going to be writing for Chop’s Guide and we are talking about restarting a series we used to write on Dumb Information.

I wanted to apologize to C.E. for forcing him to deal with 5 years without me to make his life better.

And use this story as yet another reason why I need to get the fuck back overseas.

If he would have believed her stupid ass, my life could have been ruined for some stupid fucking chicks amusement of trying to pit myself and C.E. against one another.

I may not have been the greatest person in the “relationship” and but this certainly makes me glad I did not try harder and the heart hardened fairly quickly toward her.

Chris met her husband at one point and talked to him about the abuse and he said he never lifted a hand against her, she had done this whole thing more than once. Leave a while, take the kids and come back.

She had great tits but outside of that, what a cancerous, useless human being.

C.E.’s first article will be posting in a couple days.

Keep an eye out!