A Cuddle with a Month Long Struggle.

I quickly hopped out of bed before being crushed and grabbed a quick shower and walked out to find Gary oddly trying to cuddle up to Chop in what looked like a scene from a cheap porn hub video We may not have actually learned anything to do with bail bonding, but hey, at least it wasn't fun either.

My First Actual Trip to Louisiana

Actually, this was a pretty ghetto Days Inn, and I thought maybe towels and shit would be extra... I later found out that Chris and Heidi had these items, so naturally, I am just the lucky one. I made due, I took the pillow case off of one of the pillows and used it as a wash rag and my blankets made for a good towel.

37 Days to Zen – Day 17 Change Day 10

I crave some stuff. Full flavored Coca-Cola, especially from McDonald's. Pizza, especially from Papa Johns. I also know the cravings will get much worse before they get better if they ever do. I remember wanting Taco Bell mild sauce while I was in Iraq. I craved it. These cravings are much like those were more … Continue reading 37 Days to Zen – Day 17 Change Day 10

Dream a Little Dream

I do not know why exactly I am having these dreams or why I am telling you about them but I hope none of you ever have to. They are just this side of soul-crushing. Do I have any dime store psychologists in the audience? What do you think? Can you help me have more getting touched dreams and less my world just fell apart ones?

Your Baby was Lonely, as Lonely as could be! Til Jody Provided the Company!

Veteran's Day is not to be mistaken for Memorial Day, Veteran's day is for everyone in the military and Memorial Day is for those that have left us. Veteran's Day used to be called Armistice Day because it brought about by Germany surrendering on this day in 1918. That is World War I for those not great with dates. Germany surrendered on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918.

Where are you even from?!

Howdy y'all, I have always been interested in my family history, possibly because I knew so little of it beyond my Great-Grandmother who died when I was five. I have dicked off on Ancestry.com several times over the years and had paid for and canceled the service more times that I remember when I would get … Continue reading Where are you even from?!

I GOT PAID! AAAAND it’s gone.

I doubt anyone from Tuscumbia, Missouri reads Chop's Guide but I have a friend who not only works at Dispatch with me, she has also been working at the T-Town Deli. She cooks for us in dispatch all the time and it is always good so imagine what she can to with an actual facility. She brought me an Enchilada the other day and it was pretty fantastic... would be great if I could sweet talking her into delivering me foodstuffs every day I am in Dispatch. Hint, Hint, Crystal.

Anything is Possible, But Nothing is Real

After seeing the telethon from the inside, it's apparent that those companies are in it for the exposure and money, not for those impacted by the trillions of gallons of water dumped on South Louisiana in a matter of hours, or the hurricane-ravaged region of the East Coast, or the burned remains of parts of California. Ratings and advertising revenue for the networks and incoming capital for the largest relief organization on the planet who may or may not spend the money where it needs to be spent. Based on the last time they “helped”, I lean towards may not.

What the Fuck is Wrong with Women Today?! Talk About Some Bad Karma. Chop’s Guide just Gained a New Writer & Old Friend.

Eventually, she ended up liking me for whatever reason and through the abuse from her husband and my white knight syndrome she and her two kids ended up living with me but like most people nowadays, I was not able to treat her like the princess she thought she was and she had to help with the bills and whatnot. I have mentioned this girl before in my SpongeBob article. It was during this time of her living with me that learned about her malicious nature.

Why don’t you like (insert westernized country here) women?

I understand, I am not pretty and am nice enough to just keep on a back burner, I have dealt with that my whole life. It is the modus operandi of your modern westernized woman. Now, let me admit, I am not the best person at communicating, ask my entire family about when I was in Iraq and they would never hear from me unless they called. I am sure I have accidentally made people feel the same way throughout my life and I am sorry, but it wasn't intentional. As much as I am dicking around on my phone nowadays, I really don't talk on it much.