The Polls are in! We are all Screwed!

I really hope you share every Chop's Guide you read on your social media because it helps me reach all the corners of the world but this one could be the most important post I have ever written (so far) and I ask you to please share it, no matter where you are from. If you are from Missouri and reading this, it counts double for you... you may not have the same Commissioner, Assessor or Sheriff but please learn more about people running for state level positions and PLEASE share this post.

Do What You Want Cause a Pirate is Free, YOU ARE A PIRATE!

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day 10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly? 9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm? 8. Come on up and see me urchins. 7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you. 6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon. 5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole? 4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder? 3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free. 2. Well blow me down? …And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is … 1. Prepare to be boarded.

Parenting: What You’re Doing Wrong. If You’re a Shit Parent.

If your pre-pubescent child is biting you/hitting you/kicking you and rather than punting that little bastard across the room, you call 911, you have failed as a parent and it will never get any better. That kid now knows you have absolutely no power. You should send that kid off to military school or something because that kid is going to grow up to be a piece of shit otherwise. Probably just like you.

My very first guest post! Saint Petersburg, Russia – Location Review — Single Man’s Paradise

St. Petersburg is the second largest city in Russia and home to women who absolutely blow my mind. I have never been to a place where the women, just going to the corner store, dress like they are going out on Saturday night. And the way these girls look dressed up… you will feel a pain in your stomach from falling in love several times a minute.