As the lonely bastard that I am and have always been, with the occasional exception, I am very experienced in Online Dating sites. I am possibly more experienced than any other four people combined, not because I have any luck at them or anything... I have just been joining them out of boredom since the late 90's. You name it, I am probably a member. Well boredom and the hope that someone will tolerate me. With my street cred being established, I am going to talk about some things that girls do on their dating profiles that drive me fucking batshit insane. The main reason for this is because it is ok for girls to have absolute shit profiles but guys have to be Gods among men, be 100% on point and have some flawless, next level shit to get noticed, much less get any replies. I know this because I think I have a pretty decent profile on most of them and I get about as much attention as a white crayon.
In retaliation... here is Sambob deepthroating a big black donut.
Howdy Y'all, It is November, and I have recently been watching a TON of Rube Goldberg machine videos so I thought I would write an article about him on either the day of his birth or the day of his death, whichever came first. Shooting over to Wikipedia quickly showed that the nearest date was … Continue reading Rube Goldberg and Pearl Harbor
Howdy y'all, So I was scrolling along on Facebook and came across an article about talking sex robots that are coming up for sale next year. I am not sure why this showed up on my wall, I assume it is either based on some of the weird shit that I like or … Continue reading Realistic Sex Robots and How They Impact You!
Howdy y'all, I have always been interested in my family history, possibly because I knew so little of it beyond my Great-Grandmother who died when I was five. I have dicked off on Ancestry.com several times over the years and had paid for and canceled the service more times that I remember when I would get … Continue reading Where are you even from?!
I am going to be making my Chicken Corn Chili for work at dispatch on Wednesday. It takes a while to cook in a slow cooker but the first time I made I had to give the recipe to like 10 people. It is one of the simplest things in the world to make, and I will tell you how.
Howdy y'all, I have had a few reviews in a row so I thought I would post an update on how things are going on the getting the fuck out of Shawshank front. My truck is back and functioning properly after dropping almost $1700 on the front end being pretty much completely replaced. Luckily I … Continue reading Where I am at in this endeavor.
I doubt anyone from Tuscumbia, Missouri reads Chop's Guide but I have a friend who not only works at Dispatch with me, she has also been working at the T-Town Deli. She cooks for us in dispatch all the time and it is always good so imagine what she can to with an actual facility. She brought me an Enchilada the other day and it was pretty fantastic... would be great if I could sweet talking her into delivering me foodstuffs every day I am in Dispatch. Hint, Hint, Crystal.
Yoga pants, tight black low-cut shirt, tattoos, dark grey jacket, bleach blonde hair, beanie, big glasses... ... fuck, she was a hipster. But good God was she hot.
I would have spent the whole time there with her she was fun and funny and cuddled with me after but talked myself into feeling guilty and that I was an asshole for both requiring her services and worried about some non-existent girl in my life would think.