The Polls are in! We are all Screwed!

I really hope you share every Chop's Guide you read on your social media because it helps me reach all the corners of the world but this one could be the most important post I have ever written (so far) and I ask you to please share it, no matter where you are from. If you are from Missouri and reading this, it counts double for you... you may not have the same Commissioner, Assessor or Sheriff but please learn more about people running for state level positions and PLEASE share this post.

Do What You Want Cause a Pirate is Free, YOU ARE A PIRATE!

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day 10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly? 9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm? 8. Come on up and see me urchins. 7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you. 6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon. 5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole? 4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder? 3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free. 2. Well blow me down? …And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is … 1. Prepare to be boarded.

Murder in the First.

I love E-Dub, he will always be a friend but if this wasn't a case of self-defense, they need to bury him under the jail. Things like this always make me wonder that if I had been around, could this have not happened. There were some kids I grew up across the street from in Mansfield, TX named Brooks. They all turned out to be shit-bums as far as I know and I always wondered if I had stuck around, would it have turned out that way.

Do you Also Say Froderick?!

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein... Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen." Igor: You're putting me on. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen." Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... "Frederick." Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen." Igor: I see. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor. [He pronounces it ee-gor] Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor." Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor." Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?

The Destruction of Childhood was Caused by the Last Fun Generation

I know.  I know.  You see a title like that and instantly your mind starts thinking that I’m being childish and that I have no possible idea what I’m talking about.  “Childhood wasn’t destroyed by the children of the 80’s and 90’s” or maybe “Children have it so easy now”.  If you’re of that mindset, … Continue reading The Destruction of Childhood was Caused by the Last Fun Generation