I get to work and pull everything out of the bag and I am pleasantly surprised that this is more than I am going to be able to eat, the sandwich is big and the chili cheese fries are in a huge plastic container which is full.
Missouri
I GOT PAID! AAAAND it’s gone.
I doubt anyone from Tuscumbia, Missouri reads Chop's Guide but I have a friend who not only works at Dispatch with me, she has also been working at the T-Town Deli. She cooks for us in dispatch all the time and it is always good so imagine what she can to with an actual facility. She brought me an Enchilada the other day and it was pretty fantastic... would be great if I could sweet talking her into delivering me foodstuffs every day I am in Dispatch. Hint, Hint, Crystal.
Update and Stewart’s Review
Yoga pants, tight black low-cut shirt, tattoos, dark grey jacket, bleach blonde hair, beanie, big glasses... ... fuck, she was a hipster. But good God was she hot.
Murder in the First.
I love E-Dub, he will always be a friend but if this wasn't a case of self-defense, they need to bury him under the jail. Things like this always make me wonder that if I had been around, could this have not happened. There were some kids I grew up across the street from in Mansfield, TX named Brooks. They all turned out to be shit-bums as far as I know and I always wondered if I had stuck around, would it have turned out that way.
What the Fuck is Wrong with Women Today?! Talk About Some Bad Karma. Chop’s Guide just Gained a New Writer & Old Friend.
Eventually, she ended up liking me for whatever reason and through the abuse from her husband and my white knight syndrome she and her two kids ended up living with me but like most people nowadays, I was not able to treat her like the princess she thought she was and she had to help with the bills and whatnot. I have mentioned this girl before in my SpongeBob article. It was during this time of her living with me that learned about her malicious nature.
I Loathe Being a Picky Bastard
We add some salsa to our tacos and each took a bite of our tongue taco and HOLY FUCK ARE THEY BLAND! I believe to this day that Michoacan means cooking without any spice or seasonings. Even with salsa on these things they were bland. The veal Brain was not only bland but it left a kind of gross aftertaste. Mr. Zimmern had let me down.
Why don’t you like (insert westernized country here) women?
I understand, I am not pretty and am nice enough to just keep on a back burner, I have dealt with that my whole life. It is the modus operandi of your modern westernized woman. Now, let me admit, I am not the best person at communicating, ask my entire family about when I was in Iraq and they would never hear from me unless they called. I am sure I have accidentally made people feel the same way throughout my life and I am sorry, but it wasn't intentional. As much as I am dicking around on my phone nowadays, I really don't talk on it much.
Parenting: What You’re Doing Wrong. If You’re a Shit Parent.
If your pre-pubescent child is biting you/hitting you/kicking you and rather than punting that little bastard across the room, you call 911, you have failed as a parent and it will never get any better. That kid now knows you have absolutely no power. You should send that kid off to military school or something because that kid is going to grow up to be a piece of shit otherwise. Probably just like you.
Who You Gonna Call to Deal with your Nostalgia?
Surge was like this at first also but the thing about Surge is that it is not based on the popularity of a movie franchise, so it probably will not be going anywhere, Ecto-Cooler may be different. I need to start scouring the interwebs for the high fructose corn syrup delicacy.
Don’t Forget to Pack a Wife!
I do not know yet how much these visas will cost but I can not wait to find out, Cambodia may be the new digital nomad capital of the world. Bye, Bye Chiang Mai, which is cool too because then when I go to Chiang Mai, I won’t have to deal with so many fucking white people.
Chop's Guide to the Galaxy 