As always, please like, share and comment, would love to hear from you and maybe get some new readers with your help. This is where my shattered heart, lack of self-worth and emotional walls help me out, I guess.
99.9% of my life, I get as much attention as a third party presidential candidate... then within the course of a week, I am Don Juan de la Nooch. Blows my mind. As always, Like, Share, Comment, Give me advice... whatever.
This has, in general, been the course of my love life. I get excited about the prospect of someone and it falling apart. I have grown accustomed to it... as Bane would say I was born in it, molded by it. I have finally come to a point in my life where I can barely be bothered. Thanks to the interwebs my wanderlust and my general lack of attraction to and for modern westernized women I tend to find girls who interest me either abroad but on the rare occasion I find one within the +1 country code.
Finally, some of these girls are hotter than the sun, meanwhile I look something like what they turned Chet into in the movie Weird Science. This will, I assume, make my list even shorter.
As the lonely bastard that I am and have always been, with the occasional exception, I am very experienced in Online Dating sites. I am possibly more experienced than any other four people combined, not because I have any luck at them or anything... I have just been joining them out of boredom since the late 90's. You name it, I am probably a member. Well boredom and the hope that someone will tolerate me. With my street cred being established, I am going to talk about some things that girls do on their dating profiles that drive me fucking batshit insane. The main reason for this is because it is ok for girls to have absolute shit profiles but guys have to be Gods among men, be 100% on point and have some flawless, next level shit to get noticed, much less get any replies. I know this because I think I have a pretty decent profile on most of them and I get about as much attention as a white crayon.
A Belarus Bride is an excellent group of individuals trying to help lonely bastards such as myself out, and I really would recommend them if you can deal with having a mediator and not being able to send the gifts that you wish to send. I know they have helped a lot of guys get away from the modern westernized woman and I think all the time about trying this again because a part of me wants to belong to someone… Someone who is most likely not here in the states.
I am going to do my best never to put my heart in this situation again, time to put up some walls and pay for some hookers. Ladies, I may be emotionally unavailable and have a shattered heart, but some of you weirdos dig that in a man and it should make me more attractive to you, so I am free and available to give beard rides.
I say impatience is a virtue, I have dealt with enough bad things in my life to know tomorrow is not guaranteed.
So where do I go for my first meal back in Minot?! That's right, Denny's! Fuck you; I wanted breakfast. Please like, comment and share all of Chop's Guide to the Galaxy!
Most of the motif was in the reception hall which contained loads of Harry Potter related items and gallons of butterbeer, but there were some things in the ceremony and the church that referenced Sam and Stephanie's love for the Potterverse.